While listening to all the media hype over the pending royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton, I became possessed. The synapses in my brain had pieced together a patchwork of historical facts, causing my thoughts to race wildly.
First, I recalled words from the U.S. Constitution stating, “No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States.” Sure, this applies to titles within the U.S., but the message still rings loud and clear: royalty is an affront to democracy. Didn’t we revolt to escape the tyranny of royalty and nobility? Is the media disrespecting our founders by popularizing royal events?
While I mulled over constitutional matters, another rush reminded me of the unsettling implications of this British royal wedding – the continuance of a lineage that reigned over one of the most brutal empires in human history. My mind transported me from continent to continent, as I relived the British colonial scourges. The Brits appropriated lands by force and royal decree, and taught their colonists how to divide and conquer the indigenous peoples. They planted slavery and their seeds of superiority in the U.S. colonies, leading to the widespread slaughter of North American natives. In Africa, with other Europeans, they presided over a lucrative and intensely cruel slave trade. The Brits cleverly infiltrated India and manipulated their economy and resources to their own end; through illicit opium trafficking they bullied China into submitting to Western domination; they let their convicts loose in Australia to subjugate the aborigines; and they exterminated the Tasmanians through disease, displacement, and sport killing, achieving total genocide. Although parliamentary government eventually controlled the empire, the British royals contentedly continued to fill their treasure chests through the sweat and suffering of their colonial subjects.
More historical trivia flooded my brain. I remembered how the Brits once reveled over their deeds, glorifying their paradigm of colonial imperialism through such works as Rudyard Kipling’s “White Man’s Burden.” Despite my affections for our ally in arms and my sincerest esteem for their resisting the Nazi blitzes, I could not dismiss Britain’s legacy. “For God, King (or Queen), and Country,” our Brit comrades had exploited innocent peoples and plundered their rich lands to serve the interests of the royals and other British elite.
Royal family members may not have the political power or authority of the past, but bewilderingly, the people still revere them – perhaps a vain attempt to hold onto their former greatness. … Another synaptic brainstorm flared. … The British could come to terms with their past by accepting what their sovereigns symbolize. They could make amends by following their U.S. cousins and doing away with royalty. I’d expect the Brits to act respectfully and fairly through the “deroyalizing” process, downgrading the monarchs to regular elites, and converting royalty property to museums, artifacts, and public domains.
Suddenly, I felt a sobering neuronal jolt screaming in my head, “Get real!” The royals are big business – just think how much the media has invested in the royal nuptials. I had to flush all this royal nonsense from my thoughts. If I didn’t, I knew I’d spin out of control thinking about U.S. political and business relations with various monarchs such as the Saudis and the many dictator-wannabe-kings.
Now, I’m patiently waiting for the Super Bowl of weddings to be over. Sapped by my cerebral ventures, I just can’t bear to watch the fairy tale unfold.
